NEWS
Jer Has A PhD. ... And Hookworm
Friday, May 4, 2012- A post on Lord Jer's Blog (now defunct) by Raiss Boulhawa revealled some startling information about Jer. According to Mr. Boulhawa; "It's not so much that Lord Jer has a PhD. it's that Lord Jer got hookworm from walking around in bare feet around farm animals so he learned the hard way!"
Jer Burned By Burns In The Kup Final
Saturday, March 31, 2012- Lord Jer's Kup concluded today as a injured but game (and gamey) Jer was beaten down by Bowler of the Year Burns 767 to 701. It was obvious that the fates were against Jer when a falling pin did a Lazarus and stood back up on what looked like a sure strike.
It should be noted that the competition on the lanes inspired some astute observations from from the gallery. Asfd noted; "Good Samaritans don't work in this league!" Turk quipped; "Trash pays too!" And someone mentioned that Jer says; "You gotta be kidding me!" a lot. This reporter would add that Jer uses the word "moron" excessively, and most of the time the word is aimed in my direction.
2012 KUP REPORT
2012 AWARDS
THE FOUNDING MALCONTENTS
Sunday, January 22, 2012- Hot off the press, The Rookie's Guide To Understanding Lord Jer! Posted here on the web site in two different formats, PDF and Word DOC. This work is sure to be an invaluable resource to poor innocents about to come under the scrutiny of Lord Jer for the first time. It is also a worthwhile read for veterans of Lord Jer Wars too.
Rookie Guide PDF, Rookie Guide DOC
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Saturday, January 7, 2012- Today Lord Jer contemplated a new policy. The new policy contemplated is one that would forbid the application of lipstick while bowling is in process. This reporter never in his wildest dreams saw this turn of events coming to pass. |
PETITION THE KOMMISSIONER
Mellowing with age, a kinder, gentler Lord Jer is instituting a new policy to placate the malcontents this coming season. The Kommissioner will allow bowlers to petition his office to address grievances, make suggestions, etc. To petition the Kommissioner use the application below:
HEALTHCARE FOR HANDICAPS
Monday,
February 21, 2011- Today Lord Jer decreed that, having listened to the voice of the people concerning the raising debt caused by Burns' constant winning, he would be "fixing" the handicap formula. Under the new formula bowlers who average under 200 will have the difference between their average and 200 modified by 0.85. Bowlers who average over 200 will be modified by 1.30.
This new formula is a dramatic reversal in policy for Lord Jer who is famous for saying, "Handicaps are welfare for the athletically inept." Fox News has labeled this assault on free market bowling as "Jerbamacare". And Glenn Beck is calling Lord Jer "the Joseph Stalin of Saturday bowling."